So, my first love.
Wow, a tough one.
In general, my first love would obviously be my family. I was especially close to my dad, Carol and Leonard growing up. I also loved my PawPaw and Robin, though I don't really remember them in detail. Jeremiah and Jonathan F, Michael and David, and the other Michael are friends from my early childhood that have always held a very special place in my heart. Those could also be considered first loves.
Romantically, it becomes a question that is more difficult to answer. I had interests throughout the years. DFF, Kelly, Will R, Ben, Jonathan W, Hot Rod, Will F. Nothing serious, more fun than anything. JP started out as a friend (in fact, I couldn't figure out why anyone would actually be interested in him, b/c I was absolutely NOT attracted). But we gradually grew closer, and before I knew it, I loved him. I honestly don't know if I was IN love, b/c I always knew that nothing would ever come of our relationship. He wasn't ever going to make certain changes, and I wasn't going to promise my life to someone who couldn't make those changes. But I loved him, and therefore, he had the power to break my heart. Which he did.
It wasn't until I was in my 20's that I actually started thinking seriously about marriage. I want to get married - if I meet the right person. If not, I'm content to stay single. I've only met two men in the past 10 years that actual registered on my radar as a man that I could see in my future. The first was ZTN. Things didn't develop with him, but we are friends.
The second man is JD. He is one of my best friends, and my relationship with him has really cemented my idea of what I want in a spiritual husband, especially as I watched him embark on his own courtship, and more recently, celebrate his first anniversary with his wife.
So, in my mind, those two together are what I consider my first love. I was never in love with either one, not even close. But as our relationship changed, grew, backpedaled, altered, and ultimately strengthened, I was given the opportunity to develop within myself a blueprint for the type of man I want, and therefore, the type of person I need to be in order to have that man.
Of course, I feel like I have to send a shout out to the person that I consider to be absolutely the best-looking, hottest person I've ever had the pleasure to lay eyes on.
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