Day 22 of 30 - A Day of Reflection

Actually, Day 22 is supposed to be What's In Your Purse?  But since I answered that on Day 12, I decided to make this a day of reflection.

Today is a very bittersweet day.  Twenty-four years ago, for the very first time, I woke up in the morning after a full night's sleep with only one kidney.  The anesthesia from the day before was beginning to wear off, and steps were being taken to finally rid my body of the infection that had been ruling it for so many years.  Twenty-four years ago was the first day of a new life for me.

Six years ago, I was sitting at a desk on my first day of a new job at Wynn Salon Services.  I was tired, it was stressful, but it was nice to have a job again.  I was thinking I'd turned a corner.

Only a few hours later, I was sitting in a private room at the hospital, being told my father was dead.  I guess that was the wrong corner to turn.

As I sit here thinking of my dad, I have a wide collection of emotions.  I'm happy that he's done fighting, and that he's no longer in pain and suffering.  For the most part, I've gotten over the shock of him not being here.  I've grown somewhat accustomed to life without him in it.  Most of the time, I don't expect him to walk in the door at the end of the day, or call my from his cell phone to ask me if I saw that catch on the Braves game.

Now, it's different things that make it hard.  It's watching that Braves game, and realizing that Daddy didn't see Brian McCann play in the All-Star game his first full year in the majors (2006), let alone every All-Star game since then (Go, Mac!).  Dad has no idea that Jason Collier, of Indiana, Georgia Tech, and Atlanta Falcons fame, died tragically of a heart condition in October 2005.  He has no idea that I'm friends with my Indiana heroes (Luke Recker and Kirk Haston) on Facebook.  Actually, Dad had probably never even heard of Facebook at the time he died.  Can you imagine what he would say if he know Mama was active on Facebook?!!?

What's difficult is making plans to go to a college basketball tournament with Gerald in November, and realizing that I've never been to a college basketball tournament without Dad.  College basketball was what he loved SO much.  If he were alive, you can bet that he'd be going down to Orlando with us.  And he'd probably figure out a way to take me to Disney while we were down there.

Daddy has no idea what Hurricane Katrina was, or how devastating the earthquakes in Haiti and Japan were.  He has no idea that both of the Rice boys are fathers (and maybe it's a good thing he doesn't know, as the thought might just frighten him to death).  He doesn't know that Brandon and Megan just celebrated their fifth anniversary, or that Michael has two kids.  The fact that life has continued on, as if nothing happened on that day, six years ago, is sometimes difficult to grasp.

But the hardest thing of all is to catch myself looking at a family photo, and realizing that I can't remember what my dad looks like.  The picture looks like him, and yet....I can't really remember.  Is that really what he looked like?  I can't always see his face, I can't hear his voice.  I know this doesn't mean that I'm forgetting him.  It's simply that a long time has passed, and things don't stay clear and sharp when we don't see or hear them constantly.  It's part of moving on, which we need to do.

And yet, a part of me still feels like I'm bad daughter because I can't always remember.

Day 21 of 30 - Favorite Picture of Yourself ALL TIME - and why?

Finally, FINALLY, I got up the courage to try scuba diving.

Last checkout dive, Lake Jocassee, SC

Certified Open Water diver as of July 2010.

Day 20 of 30 - Nicknames

My parents had three possibilities in mind when they were trying to decide on a name for me:
Laura Charlotte
Laura Nicole
Laura Diane

They chose the one that had no obvious nickname - Laura Diane.

Growing up, I always wanted a nickname.  Daddy called me Daura Liane, but that wouldn't have worked at school and with my friends.  Leonard called me George.  In high school, Hot Rod sometimes called me Larry.  One day, when discussing nicknames, Mikey decided that he would nickname me George.  How two people came to call me George, I'll never know.  When I worked in daycare, the kids usually called me La-La (Teletubbies was extremely popular at that time).  The Bug called me Lo, then Toe, now it's Dawa.  Not really nicknames, just the pronunciations of a child, but I was so hoping Lo would stick.

The nickname I use online is Eldabee.  My "big brother", David R., was always amused at the fact that I signed everything with my initials (LDB).  One day, his girlfriend started running the letters together, and calling me Eldabee.  It stuck.  For quite awhile, the two of them actually called me that.  Since then, it's gravitated to mostly an online identity.

I've come to like and appreciate my name.  I think, after all these years, that I prefer not having a nickname.

Day 19 of 30 - Something You Miss

The obvious answer to this is that I miss my dad.  I miss Aunt Jan.  I miss many other people lost to death, so many that I could probably spend an hour or more just trying to remember tham all.

I also miss being able to buy skinny clothes (ok, not skinny, but atleast not plus size).  I miss my Mustang convertible.  I miss Ian.  I miss Mikey and David.  I miss spending summers on the road, seeing the country.  Sometimes, I even miss that first Christmas season in retail - but only sometimes.

But sitting here at my desk, at work, what I really miss are the days of childhood, when my whole life was ahead of me.  I miss those Saturday mornings when I had to clean the livingroom before I could go out and play, but WHILE cleaning the livingroom, I could turn on the TV and watch Dumbo's Circus, Welcome to Pooh Corner, The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, or Flipper (depending on the time and channel).  I miss the Saturday afternoon naps that I HATED (why, oh why can't we have naps as adults?!!?).  I miss the hot afternoons playing basketball in the yard with all the neighborhood kids.  I miss being a kid, when days were long, and summers even longer, and the two best days of the year were the first day of school....and the last day of school.

Day 18 of 30 - Favorite Place to Eat

It amazes me how one simple phrase - favorite place to eat - can bring up a long-forgotten favorite.
 

Duff's country buffet

Wow, I'm having some serious flashbacks of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans.
 

Mighty Casey's fast food chain

It's funny, I'm not (and never have been) a huge fan of hotdogs.  And yet, Mighty Casey's was my FAVORITE place to eat as a child.

As an adult, though, I'd have to say that my favorite restaurant is Jo-To's Japanese Steakhouse on Siesta Key.

A more generic way to answer would be to say that my favorite place to eat is by the water.  That could be a restaurant like Jo-To-s, Leverock's (oh, how I miss thee), or the Sandbar Grille in Buxton, NC, or it could be as simple as a picnic by the lake.  If it's by the water, I'm content.

Day 17 of 30 - Something You're Looking Forward To

Where do I start?  There's:
-Washington DC trip
- scuba trip to swim with the manatees and dive the springs
- this weekend's picnic with Peanut and the Bug (oh, and the adults that always have to come with them)
- 2 trips to Florida in November, one to visit family, and one for a basketball tournament
- if this system goes on long enough, plans to apply to attend the next International Assembly

But what I'm really looking forward to?  The time that's not so far away, when I wake up in the morning refreshed, and I don't have to take medication.  The time when I can walk to a nearby house and see my daddy, or to another house and "meet" Robin again.  Or, if I want to travel a little farther, I can go to that house over there, and ask Joseph what it was really like being separated from his family, and working everyday in such close proximity to the Pharaoh.  I'd love to have the opportunity to be around when John the Baptist is taught how all the prophecies about Jesus were fulfilled.

And since I'll have all the time in the world, I want to hike the Appalachian Trail, the Continental Divide, and the Pacific Crest Trail.

In the meantime, I plan on working towards just BEING there.

Day 16 of 30 - Dream House

If I could have any house in the world, I would have three houses.  There are three distinct styles that I absolutely love, and I see no way to combine them into one house (without making it outrageously ugly).

I have always wanted a house with multiple levels, with a deck on each level, the whole thing overlooking the ocean, and atleast one floor having a widow's walk.  As much as I love the beach, I've never wanted the house to be on the beach.  I've always dreamed of it being on a cliff overlooking the pounding waves, in an area like Big Sur (California), and having to walk a trail down to the beach.

However, 5 years ago, I went to Hatteras Island, and found Hatteras Harbor House.



Hatteras Harbor House, April 2007 family trip


Hatteras Harbor House is on the south end of Hatteras Island, at the end of the jetty, just past the docks where you catch the ferry to Ocracoke Island.

An old farmhouse has also been a dream of mine for many years.  Old, rambling, spacious, on lots of land in the middle of nowhere.  White with barn red trim, or yellow with white trim and a red barn roof.  I like both color schemes, and both look great on old farmhouses.  The latter is perfectly displayed on the buildings and house of Rolling M Ranch in Tignall, GA.  I will have to drive out and get some good pictures.  The ranch is gorgeous!

But, on the chance that I can have neither the shoreside house or the farmhouse, I will take a simple set of rooms on stilts, over the water.  Like this one, in Bora Bora.

The St. Regis Resort, Bora Bora